I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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