haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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