kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize