That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
