i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
