Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
