He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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