you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
