No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
