but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
