Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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