You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
