Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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