i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize