when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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