Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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