WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
