New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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