Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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