those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
