u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
