I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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