and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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