the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
third nipple confirmed
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
