So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
