Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
