I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I supernannyed him into submission
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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