She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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