We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
