she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
