Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Come on in and take your pants off
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