how can u be prego again
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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