I hate your face
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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