i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Everyone says I win the strip club
My dick has a subreddit
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
