beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
