North Korea, Best Korea!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
