her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
