we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
