whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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