We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
