You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
