If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
