You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
