i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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