if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
