I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
