LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
