this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
