My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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