just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
