she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
