yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
