Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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