he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize