I looked at my own cervix.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
