I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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