But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize