Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
